


me, with you, one day at a time

by 10softbot



Series: our season [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Single Parents, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 13:24:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19085923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/10softbot/pseuds/10softbot
Summary: Taeil meets Johnny in their last year of college, when he is 23 and Johnny is 22, when Taeil spills coffee into Johnny's shirt and he didn't quite expect to fall hopelessly in love.





	me, with you, one day at a time

**Author's Note:**

> the twitter [thread](https://twitter.com/10softbot/status/1123276604870930432) i started writing at work but now in ao3 form. thank you mon, so so much, for hearing me cry over johnil for so many days. i'm still devastated, i love them so much
> 
> do not repost without permission.

Taeil meets Johnny in their last year of college, when he is 23 and Johnny is 22, when Taeil is rushing out of the lecture hall and runs straight into him, successfully dropping both their books and the iced Americano Johnny has in his hand all over his shirt. Taeil can’t remember how many times he profusely apologized for it, giddy on his feet because he is running late for his meeting with his mentor for his final project.  

Johnny brushes him off with an easy smile and a reassuring hand on his elbow, saying he can make up for it by buying him another coffee. Taeil does remember the warmth on his cheeks and the way he embarrassingly stuttered to say he was late for a meeting and the way his heart thundered in his ears as he dashed down the hallway after Johnny gave him his number. 

They meet two weeks later, when neither have pressing deadlines on their backs and they are finally able to breathe a little easier. Taeil tries not to mind the way his heart stammers every time Johnny laughs at one of his bad jokes, or the way his hands sweat over the condensation on his iced tea.  

He’s nervous, of course he is. Johnny is a gorgeous human being, and while Taeil doesn’t think he’s so bad himself he can’t even begin to compare to Johnny’s… everything. With legs that go on for miles, a nice physique and a great personality to go with it, it is only natural that he feels nervous. 

Taeil learns that Johnny is a radio and tv student, running on three hours of sleep and ten cups of coffee a day as he runs against the clock to meet his deadlines. The bags under his eyes are as black as his coffee, and Taeil can’t help but feel bad for him. 

“Are you gonna tell me what’s your major or do I have to learn how to read minds for that?” the easy smile is back on his face and Taeil blushes a little. 

“Film,” he replies easily. “I kind of want to travel the world and photograph all the amazing things out there.” 

Taeil had started his major wanting to be a filmmaker, dreams of working on big productions heavy on his mind, only to fall in love with photography and turn everything around. Yuta often questions him if he regrets it, to which Taeil tells him his memories are going to fade one day but his photographs are going to be there forever. 

It is kind of dreamy from his part and maybe a little stupid to hear, and he certainly expected Johnny to roll his eyes at him like everybody else did.  He doesn’t expect Johnny to take it in with such a big smile, nodding at his every words like he gets the feeling Taeil is trying to convey.  

Maybe he does. 

They part ways three hours later, Johnny asking him out for coffee once more some other time when they’re both free again. Taeil agrees with a curt nod, trying to mute out the screaming in his head. 

He isn’t nervous. There is no reason for him to be. 

 

It becomes a habit. Rather than texting for a meet up, running straight into Johnny becomes a habit and Taeil couldn’t be more embarrassed at himself. But Johnny is easygoing and Taeil always finds himself following the other to the small café two minutes away from campus, Johnny’s mindless chatter filling up the gaps when he doesn’t know what to say. 

“Is this a date?” he blurts out one day Johnny walks too close to him for comfort, Taeil's shoulder pressing against his bicep, coffee clutched tight in his hand. 

“If you want it to be,” Johnny smiles down at him and Taeil loves the way his lips curve up so prettily. His heart thunders loudly in his ears. 

“Do you?” he asks back, pushing down the butterflies in his stomach. He might vomit if he doesn’t. 

“Yeah,” Johnny faces ahead, a look on his face Taeil can’t put a name on. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.” 

“It is a date then,” Taeil nods, mostly to himself. His hand is halfway through the motion of reaching for his cup to switch hands when Johnny slips his own into it, intertwining their fingers. 

It is then that he noticed how sweaty his palms are, and it is then that Taeil thinks that maybe Johnny is as nervous about this as himself. He squeezes Johnny’s hand, trying to be as reassuring as he can be, and Johnny beams like the sun at him. 

The moment breaks when Johnny takes a look at his watch, paling at the seemingly realization of something Taeil doesn’t understand and feels left out of. 

“Shit,” he cusses, and it is the first time Taeil hears him do so. “Shit, Taeil I – I have to go.” 

Taeil pouts. “Why? I thought you handed in your assignment last night?” 

“I’m sorry. I really am but I– I have to– go. I’ll call you later?” 

He lets go of Taeil’s hand and Taeil immediately misses the touch. Johnny looks like he’s ready to sprint down the street. “Okay,” he mutters, feet glued to the sidewalk. 

But then Johnny is bending down and pecking him on the lips, light and quick and Taeil doesn’t even have time to register what’s happening before he’s dashing down the street and out of sight. 

Taeil doesn’t know what to do with himself, or with the million words trying to come out all at once choked up in his throat. So he just stands there, feeling a little dumbfounded, clammy hands squeezing the merry life out of his paper cup. 

 

Johnny calls later, as promised, a million and one apologies falling off his lips in a rush. 

“It's okay, Johnny,” he tries telling him for the millionth time, chuckling when Johnny starts whining on the other end of the line. “I’m not upset, I promise.” 

 _“I’ll take you out again,_ _this is a_ _promise.”_  

Taeil hums, toeing the rug under his feet, sitting back on his living room couch. “We’ll be busy for the next, what, three weeks?” 

Johnny sighs.  _“_ _Midterms,_ _right._ _I forgot. But,”_  there is rummaging  through something , and  Taeil  can’t help but wonder what the other is up to.  It is  stupid, but he misses  Johnny  already.  _“_ _I promise we’ll do something nice. We can go to the park? Take some pics?”_  

He smiles at the thought of Johnny going out of his way to do something Taeil enjoys. “That would be really nice.” 

 _“Okay,”_   Taeil  thinks he can hear him smile. _“I– I’ve got to go now,_ _I’ll see you around?”_  

Taeil’s heart feels warm when he hangs up, and for the first time in too long he goes to sleep easily, the weight of his upcoming midterms pushed to the back of his mind. 

 

They still manage to catch each other around campus during midterms, quick talks and light kisses filling up what little time they have together. Johnny looks as tired as ever, worn out to the bone and Taeil can’t help but feel bad for his… whatever they are, even though he doesn’t look so good himself. 

After all the stress is over, Taeil can barely sleep before the weekend, the promise of going outdoors with Johnny and snapping as many pictures of him as he pleases leaving him wide awake until the wee hours of the night. 

 _“_ _I can’t make it,”_  Johnny sounds extremely upset when he calls, and  Taeil  can’t stop his heart from dropping to his feet.  This isn’t supposed to be happening, dammit, not today.  _“I’m sorry,_ _Taeil_ _, I really am but – something came up and I – I can’t go. I’m sorry.”_  

Taeil isn’t one to show up to someone’s place unannounced, let alone when said someone is a person who he has something… romantic? Going on with. But Taeil can’t stop himself from hopping into a cab and making his way down to Johnny’s place, can’t stop himself from climbing up the stairs and knocking on his door. Johnny has given him his address in case something ever happened, and Taeil genuinely didn’t think this would be the way he would end up here. 

“Uh,” Taeil’s words are a mess in his brain, not quite comprehending the sight in front of him. 

“Taeil?” Johnny looks worried from his spot at the door. “Did something happen?” 

Taeil’s tongue is glued to the roof of his mouth. Johnny is in his pajamas, completely disheveled and Taeil wonders if he has showered since waking up. But that’s not what has him frozen solid on the ground, no. Johnny has a bib thrown over his shoulder and a baby bottle in his hand, and he's sure that if he tries to make sense of it any longer his brain will spontaneously catch on fire. 

“Can I… come in?” he mutters, eyes trying to steal glances at the apartment over Johnny’s shoulder. 

“Uh,” Johnny hesitates, taking a quick look at the room behind him. He sighs, opening the door wider, stepping aside, enough for Taeil to come inside. “Sure.” 

The apartment is a mess, to say the least, but that’s expected of a college student. There are books scattered on every surface Taeil lays his eyes on, Johnny’s bag resting against his couch. But then there are toys all over the floor Johnny makes an effort not to step on as he makes his way to the general kitchen area, and as Taeil follows him with his eyes he feels like his heart is going to stop beating any second. 

“I’m sorry the place’s a mess,” Johnny apologizes, sounding a little defeated. “I wasn’t– expecting to have anyone over.” 

“I–”  

Taeil can’t get his words out, apology dying in his throat. And it’s not because he isn’t sorry, because he is. He feels sorry for showing up without telling him, for asking to come in when he wasn’t invited in the first place, but Johnny is sitting on a chair by his dining table and Taeil can’t understand it. 

He can’t understand why there’s a high chair by the table, with a whole baby sitting in it. He doesn’t understand why this baby, sitting in Johnny’s kitchen, looks so much like Johnny himself. Taeil has many questions, none of which he seems to get out. 

So he doesn’t. He doesn’t say anything, instead pulls a chair and watches in silence as Johnny finishes feeding the baby in front of him. It is a couple hours later when they manage to sit on Johnny’s couch, knees knocking, Taeil as mute as he was when he walked into the kitchen. 

“I’m sorry,” Johnny starts out, picking at the skin on his thumb. 

Taeil reaches for his hand, lacing their fingers together. “I’m not mad,” he tries to smile at him despite the wobbling of his lips. “I just want to know what’s going on?” 

“It's–” he tries to start, giving up every time he opens his mouth. He sighs, deeply, and Taeil thinks he can see his bags get darker. “I don’t really tell people about this. About him, you know?” 

Taeil waits for him to continue. 

“It was the end of my freshman year, and it wasn’t really… planned. I had been going out with this girl for six months, or something, and I fucked up. I fucked up so bad, and she panicked. She freaked out, with a reason. No one wants to be a parent at 19, right?” 

“She wasn’t going to keep him, and I was sad, but I was going to support her no matter what decision she made. Things in America are a bit different.” 

Taeil keeps mum, playing with Johnny’s fingers in his hand, nodding for him to keep going. Johnny’s hand is sweaty in his. 

“I told her I’d take care of him if she went through with it and that she wouldn’t have to worry about it – about  _him_ , and it was tough but she did it. Coming back home was rough but my mom said she’d help me out so I can finish my studies. So I did.” 

“Do you regret it?” Taeil doesn’t specify what but he doesn’t have to. 

Johnny chuckles. “No. God, no. Hyuck is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He’s my sun, I’d do anything for him.” 

He waits for Johnny to say anything else, to keep talking, but Johnny never does. His hand is still sweaty in Taeil's, and from where Taeil is sitting he has the perfect view of Johnny’s side profile. The slope of his nose, the curves of his lips, and Taeil doesn’t hold back from leaning in close and kissing him softly. He can feel the tension slipping off Johnny’s shoulders, can feel his body turn into mush as he allows himself to kiss Taeil back. 

And when he says, “let’s do this together,” voice barely above a whisper, Taeil doesn’t know what’s gotten to him. He doesn’t have all that much experience with dating, let alone experience with children, but he knows he likes Johnny enough to want to be with him and help him out as much as he can.  

Taeil thinks that, for Johnny, it is worth giving it a try. 

“What?” that’s not quite the reaction he expected, a frown setting deep in Johnny’s face. “What do you mean?” 

Taeil leans in again, pressing his lips softly against Johnny’s. “I mean,” he looks Johnny straight in the eyes, “would you like to be my boyfriend, Johnny? And let me help you take care of him. Let me take care of you.” 

There is a long pause, and silence sits uncomfortably in his stomach, but Taeil waits. He waits as Johnny searches his face, waits until he stops fidgeting in his hold, waits until he finds his words again. 

“Do you really want to?” Johnny sounds as nervous as he looks and Taeil can’t hold himself back from smiling. 

“Yeah,” he doesn’t miss a beat, not daring the silence to stretch any further and settle deeper into his bones. “I really want to be with you. So, what do you say?” 

“I–” Johnny cuts himself off, chewing on his bottom lip. And then, “I would. Like to be with you– like that. I’d love to call you my boyfriend.” 

Taeil thinks that, for Johnny, it is definitely worth giving it a try. 

  

He doesn’t know how Johnny’s been managing it for three years. He doesn’t know how he’s been managing to take care of his son while juggling college work, even after Johnny told him his mother had been helping out all along. He doesn’t know how he does it but Taeil makes extra effort to get over his anxieties and fears in order to help him. 

He can see Johnny is thankful for the extra hand whenever Taeil comes over in the afternoons and tells him to go catch some sleep, reassuring him that Donghyuck is in good hands and that he can deal with things while he rests for a bit. It helps that Donghyuck is the easiest baby to deal with, keeping his crying to a minimum and doesn’t make a fuss out of every little thing. 

It gets hard for them to keep going on dates and Taeil gets tired sometimes, but the look of pure joy on Johnny’s face whenever the three of them go out to the park is worth any struggles he might face. Johnny is the most loving, caring, dedicated father Taeil has ever seen even despite his young age, and he really wishes that he could stop time whenever he gets to see him smile. 

So he takes out his camera, his phone, whatever it is that he has closest to him, and snaps a shot of the moment, freezing it into eternity. Johnny with a giggling Donghyuck in his arms, smile so bright the sun is certainly put to shame. His heart feels warm, and he never wants to let this go. 

 

Taeil doesn’t expect their relationship to last. He doesn’t think college romance is something that has a potential to last, thinks that’s only exclusive to fiction. He wants it to last, of course he does, but he promises himself not to be too upset if things do end up falling apart. 

He doesn’t expect their relationship to last and yet it does. Graduation comes sooner than he expects and his heart clenches when he sees Johnny in the crowd at his graduation ceremony, Donghyuck in his arms. He cries – for being done with college, for loving Johnny so much, for being so happy at the sight of the two of them. 

When Johnny’s graduation day comes, of course Taeil is there for him. He has Donghyuck in his arms just like Johnny did a couple weeks back, Johnny’s mom right next to him with a big smile on her face. Taeil was nervous to meet her back in the day, only to find out she is just as loving as her son is. 

It is months after they graduated and Taeil is still just so happy, his heart soaring whenever he walks into Johnny’s apartment and Donghyuck squeals at the sight of him. He is four now, freeing himself from Johnny’s embrace on the couch to run into his legs, jumping up and down for a hug. 

 

Donghyuck is four when he starts calling Taeil papa. It is a sunny Saturday afternoon, the three of them lazing around Johnny’s bed. It is a tight fit and Johnny’s limbs are far too big for them to be comfortable, but Donghyuck is laying on Johnny’s chest and he doesn’t think he’d have it any other way. 

“Papa,” he says, and Johnny fully expects him to be calling out for him. But Donghyuck is looking at Taeil, hand reaching out to lay oh his cheek, and Taeil thinks his heart is going to stop beating. “Mwah!” 

Taeil can’t stop the tears that well up in his eyes when he looks up at Johnny, can’t stop them from spilling over at Johnny’s surprised expression, tears glistening in his round eyes. He holds Donghyuck’s tiny hand, presses a kiss into his palm before attacking him with too many kisses, his high-pitched giggling filling up the entire apartment. 

 

Donghyuck is seven when Johnny proposes, and Taeil thinks his knees are going to give way when it happens. They are out at the park, as usual, Donghyuck away cycling around the river. And Johnny is on his knee, holding Taeil's hand with one hand and a silver band with the other, and Taeil can’t breathe nor see through his tears. 

“This isn’t a prank, is it Suh?” is the first thing Taeil manages to choke out and Johnny laughs at him. 

“No, babe. I love you more than you could ever imagine, and you make me the happiest man on earth. We’ve been through so much together; you’ve helped me raise Hyuck when you really didn’t have to.” 

Fresh tears start streaming down his cheeks and Taeil can’t care to try and stop them. 

“I want to make you the happiest man on earth, too, Taeil. For as long as I live, I want to be by your side making you happy. So, what do you say?” Taeil knows Johnny is parroting him from all those years ago. “Moon Taeil, will you marry me?” 

Taeil's knees do give way and he falls to the ground, arms thrown around Johnny’s neck and pulling him into a hug as he cries. There’s snot running from his nose when he kisses Johnny, again and again and his heart feels like it is going to burst. 

“Yes, you idiot. Of course I’ll marry you.” 

Donghyuck jumps into Taeil’s arms when he’s back and they tell him they’re going to get married. He’s happy, he’s glowing and Taeil thinks there might be tears in his eyes. 

“Does that mean you’re finally gonna move in, dad?” Donghyuck is looking up at him, eyes big and hopeful, and Taeil doesn’t hold back on pinching his cheek. It is true he has more belongings in their place than his own apartment by now. 

“If your father wants me to,” they both look at Johnny expectantly and Johnny has the goofiest smile on his lips. 

“Of course he is moving in,” he ruffles the boy’s hair and Donghyuck beams. “We can start it today, if you want to.” 

It’s cute to see Donghyuck run around his apartment, taking everything he can out of its place and putting it into different suitcases Taeil points out for him. Johnny tries to tell his son to slow down and not make a mess of everything, to which Taeil just tells him to let him be, a reassuring hand over Johnny’s chest. 

“He is your son as much as he’s mine, you know that right?” Johnny whispers as they watch from afar Donghyuck rummage through Taeil’s closet. 

“I–” Taeil eyes Johnny carefully, pondering if he should finally say what he’s been thinking for the past four years of them being together. “I was scared to say it out loud, scared to indulge myself only for things to fall through in the end.” 

Johnny’s hand is warm on his cheek, a sickeningly sweet smile on his lips. “You don’t have to be. You were there for his first day of school, the first time he bruised a knee while playing, when he started losing his baby teeth too. You’ve helped me teach him how to ride a bike, helped me talk to him when kids at school wouldn’t leave him alone. You’re an essential part of his life and of mine, too, baby. He calls you dad without ever hesitating. We love you and you’ve been a part of our family for longer than you realize.” 

Taeil tells himself he’s not going to cry despite the tingling behind his eyelids. He pushes himself on his tippy toes, planting a chaste kiss against Johnny’s lips. 

“Gross!” Donghyuck calls out, shoving a couple shirts into a suitcase. 

Johnny crosses the room easily with his long strides, hugging Donghyuck from behind and attacking him with kisses, the boy laughing in his hold, no real effort to set himself free. Taeil joins in on them, kissing the cheek Johnny isn’t attacking repeatedly. 

As they resume the clean up and packing, Taeil allows himself to finally let himself call them his family for the first time. The silver band on his finger is a comfortable weight, a reminder that maybe this will be forever. 

 

Being with Johnny and having the opportunity to watch Donghyuck grow is definitely something Taeil wouldn’t change for a thing in his life. The years pass and he knows they are doing it right by raising him in a loving family. His family. 

Taeil is there when their son falls in love with his best friend and is too shy to approach Johnny about it. He is there to tell him everything is going to be okay and is there to watch from afar as they shyly hold hands when he takes them on play dates. 

It’s been over fifteen years since the day he bumped into Johnny, since he spilled coffee over his now fiancé, since they shared their first kiss. It’s been over fifteen years since he decided he wanted to be with Johnny for the rest of his life, and now, as he fidgets with his tie, he knows there will be a forever for them. 

 

Taeil meets Johnny in their last year of college, when he is 23 and Johnny is 22, when Donghyuck is 3 and Taeil wasn’t sure what to do after graduating. They are well into their thirties and Taeil knows this is exactly where he wants to be. 

**Author's Note:**

> i'll never not be in my johnil feelings  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/10softbot/) / [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/10softbot)


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